Lucidity

After days or more specifically a month of doing nothing, I've realized a number of things about my depression.

1. I have bouts of lucidity where I am able to think rationally, hopeful, etc. Usually these moments and moods can easily be ruined when things don't go my way and remind me of how much of a pathetic moron I am. I used to think that these moments of lucidity were bad because they were the example that I wasn't trying hard enough but now I know that these moments of lucidity are a good thing.

2. I've been ridiculously lazy. It's been a month and my suitcase still hasn't been unpacked.

3. Depression is a serious illness. It's like madness, a serious psychological disability. I need to accept it and work to overcome it.

Therefore there are things I need.
1. A strict regimen to get back in the habit.
2. I want to read more and I think I might want to be an agent.
3. I need to stop distracting myself with everyone and everything else and focus purely on myself.

So. I've made a decision to try to blog or get a journal to write in everyday.
I'm also going to make an effort to take my medication everyday.